A return I wrote was accepted into the Internet Oracle volumes. Yea!

Return-Path: oracle-request@cs.indiana.edu
Date: Thu, 11 May 2000 10:17:36 -0500 (EST)
Subject: Congratulations! (1159.3 2.9)

Congratulations! An Oracularity which you wrote the question or answer
for has been selected and published in an issue of the Internet
Oracularities, volume #1159. It received an average rating of 2.9
on a scale of 1 to 5, with votes from participating readers. The
distribution of votes was 3mza5, where each digit represents the number
of votes of value 1, of value 2, etc. Letters are used for digits
beyond 9. To participate in the voting yourself in the future, see the
instructions at the top of each digest.

Here’s the Oracularity:

1159-04 3mza5 2.9 —————————————————-
Selected-By: "Paul L. Kelly" <zymurge@mindspring.com>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> Twice Born Oracle, pal of The Blue One and he who taught Ganesha
> how to write,
>
> What if I don’t want to be reincarnated?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Like you have a choice in the matter! Foolish supplicant! Reistance is
} futile, you will be reincarnated. Now you do have some options as to
} what you will be reincarnated as. Unfortunately your karma is so low,
} that you don’t really get to decide, we’ll just throw two six sided
} dice and consult the table "low or negative karmatic reincarnations"
} here in the book…
}
} 2 Worm. The kind that gets squished by young children playing
} in mud puddles.
}
} 3-4 You are reincarnated as an ashtray in a small midwestern town
} diner. Hope you aren’t allergic to smoke…
}
} 5-6 Pot of petunias. Location of pot may be suboptimal to long term
} viability. (roll again)
}
} 7-8 Sperm whale. Location of reincarnation may be suboptimal to long
} term viability. (roll again)
}
} 9-11 A Furby owned by a dyslexic child. A classic race against time
} to teach the child about ‘responsibility’, (don’t leave the toy
} Mommy got you out in the rain) before you come back to roll on
} this table again.
}
} 12 Human, but your only access to the net is through AOL over a
} 2400 baud modem. (might as well roll again and hope for the worm)
}
} You owe the Oracle a new set of dice