Sat Mar 8 21:16:50 2003

A somewhat amusing response for the Oracle this time.

< Oh wise Oracle most effulgent and sheltering, < < Have you heard anything about a new hog flavored book?

Sounds like hogwash to me.

But seriously, there’s been a resurgence in alternatives to making books out of paper. Let’s take a look at a few of the possibilities including your idea of using animals:

Pork – Bacon specifically, since that’s usually the flattest form of hogs.

Binding bacon into a book could prove to be a little tricky, and printing
onto bacon, cooked or uncooked is pretty tricky. On the plus side, you
can even eat it for breakfast.

Plastic – It’s much easier to print on than pork, and has some nice

qualities like being waterproof so you can read it in the bath. But
plastic is just processed petrochemicals, so technically you are
reading an oil-slick. That’s got to be a little weird…

Metal – While metal has been used for a few books (Ancient Egypt’s

book of the dead). It tends to be a bit heavy and certainly not the
kind of book that you can take with you into the bath. And anything
over a couple of dozen pages is a tome with too much weight to
carry anywhere without a camel.

Cloth – Cloth has been used from time to time as book material. It can

be a little floppy and hard to use without a table of other flat
surface. On the plus side, you can make trendy clothes from various
books. Think of a shirt by Ann Rand, pants by Marvel Comics.

People – Making books out of people is generally frowned upon in most

civilized societies. But there are a few books, most notable the
infamous Necronomicon. Of course such books are carefully guarded,
just don’t pick up the wrong book.

You owe the Oracle a book on how to make Solyent Green